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Thursday, March 31, 2011

in memory: molly

Like I mentioned in my last post, this post is my 100th. I didn't feel right celebrating it until I first honored Molly. I am dedicating my 100th post to her and I'll celebrate it later. I have a giveaway planned that I'll probably post it this weekend, but for now I want to tell you about the sweetest pup I've ever known.


Molly was my boyfriend Charlie's dog for almost 15 years. He had her for a looong time. Needless to say she was an old lady. She had her share of medical problems and we all pretty much new she didn't have much time left with us but she was still so full of life. She still danced for her food and pitter pattered around the house between naps.

The worst part about this whole thing is that Charlie left for New York yesterday afternoon for a photo shoot and Molly was gone by yesterday evening. She got sick and his parents took her to the hospital and when she wasn't getting better, they sent her to the pet E.R. where she eventually passed on. I'm not sure about the specifics, it may have all just been age related. But because Charlie wasn't there to say goodbye, he feels even worse now. We talked three different times last night and texted in between that.

He kept me updated while everything was happening and then called to tell me the bad news. It was one of those things where it takes a while to sink it. At first he sounded bummed, but generally okay. Each time I talked to him though he sounded worse and worse. I felt awful that he was away and I couldn't be there for him. The best I could do was listen and offer as many comforting thoughts as I possibly could. We talked about how it's funny that you can be totally prepared for these things yet still end up shocked. We all expected this to happen soon but it still came as a blow. I think it's easy to say you'll be okay when it happens until you actually have to face it.

I've never had a dog and Molly was certainly the closest I've ever come to it. Just like I see his family members as my own family, I saw Molly as a family member too. I didn't think I'd be as affected as I am but I spent a lot of time with her over these past five years that I've known Charlie.

I think I'm going to do a separate post with some more photos and some memories of her because this post is getting a little lengthy and the photo above is the only one I have on my computer. I'll grab some from Charlie when he gets home because I know he has a ton of good ones.

Charlie comes home tomorrow so I probably won't be posting until the weekend so that I can just be there for him. If you feel like leaving some comforting words for my guy in the comments I know he'd really appreciate reading them. He's feeling pretty bad about being away and not getting those last few minutes in. He's going through a lot of "should've done this" or "could've done that". It's just heartbreaking to hear.

So if you're still with me through this wordy post, thanks for taking the time to read both the good and the bad here on my little blog. That's what life is though right?

5 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. Please tell Charlie I know he's sad, and it will take time. Soon, when his thoughts go to Molly they will, more and more be good thoughts of the time they shared together and less about regret. There would have been nothing Charlie could have done to save her. His parents did, I'm sure, exactly what he would have done had he been there. I know that doesn't help. I wish there was more I could say to offer comfort. Charlie is lucky to have loving parents and you to help him through.
    Caroline

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  2. I'm so, so sorry for you and Charlie. Losing a pet is incredibly hard. I know just how you are feeling; my best friend's dog died unexpectedly earlier this month, and my day to day life is still thrown out of whack by it - I loved him like my own dog.

    I'm absolutely certain that Molly knew how much she was loved. Charlie gave her a long and happy life - if only we were all so lucky to live our entire lives with someone who loves us! He shouldn't feel guilty about being away when the end came. It will take time to feel right again, but eventually you all will be able to remember her without sadness. It will probably be around that time that Molly will send you another dog to love and care for. :)

    I'm sending lots of hugs your way.

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  3. I'm so sorry for you and Charlie! I lost my childhood dog Casey a few months ago, and I was away on vacation with my husband when it happened. I didn't even find out until I got home. I felt so so awful that I couldn't be there and that I never got to say goodbye, so I can imagine how Charlie feels. What helped get me through is remembering all the good times, and trying to be thankful that my last memories of Casey were of her being her normal, playful self and not of her being sick. My thoughts are with you both.

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  4. oh Jess, i am so sorry for your loss, Charlie must be feeling it hard every day. Molly is a little orb angel and to have that much time with a fur baby before they leave us is definitely a blessing but i know how hard it is to lose them.

    you know what, in my opinion an animal is a very wise and distinctly attune creature. they know when they are ready to go and she might have been thinking to herself, hey Charlie's away...he shows me every day how loved i am so now i will do him a solid and not cause him any more trouble. i'll just make my way along so he won't have to fret about leaving me in the vets care himself.

    i can tell you from my own personal experience after loosing 2 precious fur babies, that the what-if's seep in to every scenario. ride it out but try not to get consumed by them. when Koda (our cat, but really my cat) passed away not too long ago we had to leave him at the emerg over night. they told us it wasn't that bad and he should be fine by the morning, i asked if i could come see him one more time before nightfall. they said he was on the drugs and i should wait till morning. he died before i saw him again and for that i ate up my insides with guilt. it comes to us all in different ways, i sure do wish you both many blessings over this next while when things feel the worst. this was a very beautiful and poignant post, thank you for sharing Jess. ♥

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  5. Thank you all for your beautiful thoughts and well-wishes. Charlie has read every one of these and is definitely feeling the love. :) He wants me to thank you all and let you know how much it meant to him to hear from others who understand and can give another perspective on his situation. I can tell it is definitely helping him heal to know he did all he could. Thanks for being awesome. :)

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